Saturday Night Live had a wonderful recurring skit featuring Chris Farley as a motivational speaker who lived in a van down by the river. My favorite was one lampooning air quotes. Farley was explaining why a suburban couple should hire him as their child’s private tutor — even though he didn’t technically have a …
The Contrarian
I think Mikey left his book at home. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. — Peter 3:9
Man, I pray to god there isn’t one. Or, if there is, she isn’t a Jehovah’s Witness. I guess the accurate term would be The Jehovah’s Witness. The reason is simple: I think I offended two of her followers today. I was at my own Mass — in front of the TV on NFL …
Whew. That was close. We almost didn’t survive our final round of political chemotherapy: The confirmation today of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. Please understand: I don’t think Kavanaugh should be anywhere near a federal bench. Or a public bench near a bar, for that matter. Brett Kavanaugh deserves to be a stunt …
The test results came back. And the news is not good. We have cancer. Stage 4. This should surprise no one. We’ve been courting political cancer the way smokers court black lung, the way drinkers court rotted livers, the way junk foodies court heart disease. We know exactly the direction we’re headed, do little …
What we really were hoping for Thursday:
I can’t stand the heat. I must confess. I wrote the anonymous New York Times op-ed piece. It wasn’t for the shitbird that is Donald Trump. It wasn’t for the raft of felony convictions among his political support beams. It wasn’t for that red tie that droops beneath his scrotum sac. It wasn’t his …
Nike released its controversial ad featuring Colin Kaepernick as its spokesman today, despite his insistence on exercising his First Amendment rights. Forget who is in it. Forget what it’s selling. Simply hear the message. The folks at Nike, in a rare Economic Darwinian showdown with Trump and conservatives, have made a startling call: to risk …
Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the U.S. Supreme Court seems as certain as a Trump misspelling. Beneath a hurricane of political fuckery, he has sailed a relatively gentle wave to the highest court. With a simple straight partisan vote, the Court will veer hard right. And when Ruth Bader Ginsberg kicks the bucket (she …
One of an occasional series of odd stories that actually have AP sourcing (sorry Breitbart): Smallest North Dakota city to double in population _ to 4 Sprinting naked man leads LA police on lengthy pursuit Thief in Mexico tries to steal hearse, with body inside Wisconsin pilot flees officers, later crashes into cornfield Left behind: …
The Hollywood Bowles 