Stop the presses, hold the phone, and crank up the AC. Hell hath frozen over: Donald Trump was correct about something. Not the broken-clock kind of correct. God knows Donnie Dimwit couldn’t keep up the blistering pace of being right twice a day. He’s lucky if he’s right twice a month. But last week, in …
Trump
The media outlet Buzzfeed had to down a plateful of crow today, served up by none other than Robert Mueller. The meal was unexpected for a couple of reasons. One, Buzzfeed is as much of a news outlet as Scientology is a religion. In fact, they share a similar modus operandi: Both try to …
Ask any parent of a newborn: There’s no reasoning with a fussy infant. You can either feed him, change him, or swaddle him in his comforting blanket. What you can’t do is cry louder than him to shut him up (though that would make for a great YouTube video). Perhaps that’s the approach the …
There are two types of presidents: those who lead by inspiring, and those who lead by inciting. Try telling the guy below this was the byproduct of political bureaucracy. Don’t worry, Donnie: A remedy is on the way.
I’m loathe the criticize my brethren in the legit .media, given the weeks of late we’ve had: Jamal Khashoggi’s assassination, the CNN mail bomb attempt, Trump’s revocation of press credentials of any reporter who is multi-syllabic. But I gotta say, press guys, come on. Don’t give into the retardation. Namely: please give us respite …
Well, that round of radiation therapy went pretty well. Turns out that not only is the body an amazing self-righting mechanism, but the body politic is an efficient self-lefting one. Sure, the GOP picked up seats in the Senate, but that was inevitable. We have gerrymandered ourselves into participation trophies in the most antiquated …
A good lie is better than a bad truth. Don’t believe it? Your wife buys a dress that looks more like a mumu for a manatee. “Does this make me look fat?” she asks you. The prosecution rests. Stupidly, I’ve passed that tidbit on to several people, including my mother. Now every time I …
The test results came back. And the news is not good. We have cancer. Stage 4. This should surprise no one. We’ve been courting political cancer the way smokers court black lung, the way drinkers court rotted livers, the way junk foodies court heart disease. We know exactly the direction we’re headed, do little …
I can’t stand the heat. I must confess. I wrote the anonymous New York Times op-ed piece. It wasn’t for the shitbird that is Donald Trump. It wasn’t for the raft of felony convictions among his political support beams. It wasn’t for that red tie that droops beneath his scrotum sac. It wasn’t his …
Nike released its controversial ad featuring Colin Kaepernick as its spokesman today, despite his insistence on exercising his First Amendment rights. Forget who is in it. Forget what it’s selling. Simply hear the message. The folks at Nike, in a rare Economic Darwinian showdown with Trump and conservatives, have made a startling call: to risk …
The Hollywood Bowles 